Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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