id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
