those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize