If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
