I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Two words: blizzard sex
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
