i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
