hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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