Please, let me fuck your mom
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
