On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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