so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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