we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
