We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
