Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
