Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
