I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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