God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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