I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
