I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
