I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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