I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
