it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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