I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
