Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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