just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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