in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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