i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
