It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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