just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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