dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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