I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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