if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We just shotgunned beers for America
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
