It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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