Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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