so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize