Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
