what day is it and did you see me today?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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