Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
