At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize