but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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