Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
