the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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