just come out here and I will go home with you...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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