is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Randomize
