put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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