Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
