playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
