i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
