hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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