birth control should be required to get into college
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
