we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
did i just pee glitter
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
