need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
