Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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