sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
