whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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