This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
