2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
