Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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