Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
