just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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