Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize