my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
