If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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