There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You ruined the universe
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
